A little over 4 years ago, I started this blog series to document my transition. I was hoping it may inspire or help those in the position I was in 10 or 20 years ago, or be of help to a friend, co-worker or relative of someone going through transition. At the end of the day, transitioning is a long journey, and one that can be very lonely for some of us.

Following the events of the last year, a line from Tina Turners One of the Living feels apt.

“Don’t want to fight, but sometimes you’ve got to. You’re some Soul Survivor! There’s just one thing you’ve got to know, you’ve got 10 more thousand miles to go. Because you’re one of the living.”

The last 4 years have seen so much change in my life, some of it has been truly magical, but all of it has been self-made. Prior to transition, it took a long time to come to terms with myself. and now, in my 5th year of transition, I am bearing all of the fruits of the work, pain and expense.

The wider world: fear from the media

At the time I wrote my last blog, I had no idea what horrors and hysteria was going to erupt, from the supreme Court, the EHRC, all of these organisations that are meant to protect vulnerable people, and actually seem intent on doing the very opposite.

There were so many tears, such sadness, however my community came together to protest, fund-raise and fight for our rights.

There has been so much nonsense hysteria dreamed up to paint trans people as a threat to safety, when we just want to live our lives in peace. And yes, that includes me going to the toilet, cleaning myself up and checking my makeup and hair, just like any other woman.

All this hysteria that the mainstream media is obsessed with generating and perpetuating

distracts from the real issues that genuinely affect all our lives, the cost of housing, food and energy, access to healthcare and education. There is a climate crisis on this planet and yet they are obsessing over trans people.

My own transition: realising that dream of myself.

Sometime in 2025, I had the realisation that transition was not just the only big target I needed to get to in life, it is actually a vehicle to access the rest of my life, a life that I could only dream of 5,10,15 years ago. To think back then that I would have.

• The relief from the dysphoria
• The joys of euphoria
• Feeling comfortable in my own skin
• Liking what I see when I look in the mirror
• Growing to love and care for myself
• Socialising
• Nights out
• Pride
• Meeting more of my sapphic community

All of this, a younger version of me cried herself to sleep thinking of. However, having effectively

reached the target stage of my transition, where all of big steps have been completed, as much as there will little things to work on – I am now thinking about the other things in life that I want, like: travelling to a few places, learning to dance, to name a few. None of this was possible way back, I am planning my future, as I no longer feel the constant distress from a body or social/gender presentation that does not align with who I am, everyone in my life sees me for the woman I am.

Finding more of my community

4 years ago, I didn’t know another trans person, or another lesbian. In the last few years, I have found my local trans community. But in the last year I have found more of my wider sapphic/wlw community, which feels like another coming home.

It’s a very empowering thing to find people like you. I cannot thank Southampton Sapphics and Hopes Angels Dorset enough.

Overall: into my 5th year and beyond

I feel some disbelief, that at the time of writing this, that it has been 4 years since I changed my name and started my journey. There are many people in my life who have never known me as anyone else, and they simply see me for who I am, a femme sapphic woman. My transition enabled me to be myself. I am very proud of the woman I’ve become.

To my sisters, brothers, and N.B siblings out there – you are valid! Trans rights are Human rights!

Support References

• Hopes Angels Dorset: https://www.hopesangels.co.uk/

• Southampton Sapphic Society. Instagram @southamptonsapphicsocial

Laurels NHS GIC Waiting Times

Tavistock and Portman NHS Trust – NHS Gender Identity Clinic (London) – Waiting times

Harley Street Gender Clinic

NHS Specialised Services Circular 1620
Primary Care Responsibilities in Prescribing and Monitoring Hormone Therapy for Transgender and Non-Binary Adults (updated)

NHS Specialised Services Circular 1826
Primary Care Responsibilities In Regard To Requests by Private On-Line Medical Service Providers to Prescribe Hormone Treatments for Transgender People

Help and Support

Dorset Mind offers group support that can also help with your wellbeing. The charity’s groups offer peer support. They help to reduce stigma by normalising conversations about mental health. You can also check out further support for stress and mental health here. 

You’ll find links for 1-2-1 and groups of mental health support we offer here. 

If you’re in a crisis, treat it as an emergency. Call 999 immediately or The Samaritans, FREE on 116 123. NHS Dorset’s Helpline ‘Connection’ can be reached on 0800 652 0190. It’s also available 24/7.

Today’s Guest Blogger

Thank you once again to Charlotte, for her open and honest account of four years since announcing her transition to the world – and becoming her true self as Charlotte.

Read Charlotte’s last blog, Becoming Charlotte: Three Years in Transition